so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
