and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
God I need to hump something, right now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
