I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
