Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
