Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
