Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize