I must be too annoying 4 u.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
