so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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