Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
