Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
