In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
