So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the day after is always just damage control
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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