i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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