what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
