So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
