dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
