Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
