At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
