He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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