His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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