id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
where am i from again
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
