How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
