And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
