So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
