I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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