What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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