She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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