My room smells like vodka and shame
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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