I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
