So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize