On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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