Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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