So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
