areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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