Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
