Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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