Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Randomize
