By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
