Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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