Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
