Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
