fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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