worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
