I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
