i jhust puked up my retainher.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
