How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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