Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
