soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
