You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
