She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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