piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
