Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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