I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize