it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
