i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
