i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
