remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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