I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize