I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
